Stress.
A few definitions, shall we?
a. a specific response by the body to a stimulus,as fear or pain, that disturbs or interferes with the normalphysiological equilibrium of an organism
b.physical, mental, or emotional: strain or tension
It greeted me so well today. The morning actually started out great. I had a Skype date with my best friend over coffee, joking and smiling and filling each other in on new things in life, and discussing the old. I love her so much so it was easy to just relax and be at peace, and be filled with joy. Somehow from all of that joy, the day was just dramatically tossed into work, physical, and emotional stress. Don't get me wrong, I don't want stress to sound like the big ugly monster that we all hate, even though most times that's exactly what it is… It was more contemplation. Over-thinking? Perhaps, or finding the significance in things I didn't realize before. It's hard for me to not think in general, and then for my thinking to turn into mind twirls, and riddles... it just blew me up a bit.
Thank goodness for music though. Funny, how music is able to sort of just calm my nerves. I'm able to sit at a piano, close my eyes and sing words that I've written and have memorized… words that I love to say out loud, so much so that I say them in front of 1,000's of people almost every night, for months at a time. Words that take me to a place, or a smell, or a scene, or a memory that I hold dear, or want to feel and know again. Music is a powerful thing, isn't it? I was thankful to be able to sit and play tonight. To release myself again. I'm aware that I sing to a crowd most nights, but sometimes it's almost like I just sing to myself and hope that people can just feel what I'm feeling.
A girl can dream.
By the way, my dream last night was bizarre. I've been having bizarre dreams. Not sure if it's due to sleeping in different beds every night or what, but weird weird dreams. Sometimes I remember them… sometimes I don't.
Home still seems far away. Soon enough though. The travel destinations will be getting better very, very, very soon.
That, is something I am looking forward to :)