January 23, 2010

food for thought

i'm so HUNGRY. in in out protein cheeseburger… i say yes.
i haven't really eaten much, and even though you're not supposed to eat after 9, i feel like
you can make an exception. right?

anyways, it's approached me again:
a good read
a lack of understanding
the hope of things working out, that haven't in the past
the joy of living

there's something about meeting someone new for the first time; and getting to know them, or shopping and finding the one thing in the store that you love and there only being one left & its in your size… there's something amazing about that. i hope you're following my train of thought here. i don't ever really know how to feel when i know i could be getting myself into heart troubles. do you, or do you not consider it? do you take the risk and just go with it and hope for the best? i'm so black and white with stuff like that. yes or no.

i hate maybes.

my sister had a pageant today: Miss Ventura County… and she WON! can you believe that? I couldn't. and neither could mom or my sister. It was basically insane. She's going to Miss California sometime in the summer, and she'll have a busy year ahead. crazycrazycrazy. what was crazier was definitely our loud cheering. they all loved it though. support, what's family for?

anyways, food for thought: risking or not.
i guess it's " chill " - i really hate that word.
more later. xoxo

January 18, 2010

stormy weather


i don't know about everyone else, but i'm actually a HUGE fan of rain. i love the cold, and i think its great to be inside with a cup of coffee and snuggled by fire, (or candles) if you live in an apartment like me. I think its great. i went to my psycho trainer, in this stormy weather and to no one's surprise… almost died. the man is a nut (insert serious face). but on a happier note, i just watched Vh1's tough love episode from last night, and again--- PEOPLE are you with me?? this is CRAZINESS. me on Vh1? i dont get it. so surreal. i just don't think its hit me yet. ha..
and the vh1 party at my apartment was a success. i'll post a quick video recap from it. very fun!

the rest of the day looks like:
hot cocoa (perhaps :)
bookstore to read
and tv tonight :) the bachelor comes on.
i know i know, guilty pleasure.

i hope everyone is having a great Monday. they're rare for me, so this is nice.
blessings from God continue to amaze me.


January 15, 2010

because how many times can you watch yourself on tv?

my music video premiere on Vh1. i can't even believe that i'll be on television. i never thought ever ever ever ever ever that this would be happening… at all. i literally remember sitting on my couch watching a 30 second clip of this new you oughta know artist when i was 18 years old and thought to myself " i'll never get there, how could i?" but dying for it. and seriously, here it is. that JUST hit me… that's crazy. blessings blessings. i'm so thankful for this opportunity. anymore than this would send me over the edge and i'd really question my sanity. i hope all of you reading this, will watch it and most importantly enjoy it.

i've got my sister and my mom coming over with a couple of my closest friends. early wake up call,  coffee, breakfast foods and a great couch to sit and watch this all go down. i'm trying not to pee on myself. seriously.

EEEEEEEE!!!!!! :)
ciao ciao

January 13, 2010



I cannot, may i repeat CANNOT believe that i am a vh1 "You Oughta Know" Artist.. I remember getting the news and i about died. seriously. I'm so excited to see where this road takes me, and i'm even more excited to have all of you guys apart of it. I couldn't do it without other people being affected and needing music as much as i do… just for life in general. This whole thing is a little nuts, and i'm just trying to take it stride by stride remembering who I am, where i've been, what i've come out of, and where i'm going. I hope to see it through with more music to keep pushing hope.

its all we've got.
hugs_ kisses.

more soon.